A hypothetical potato once thought, "If I only were a chicken, I could have pecked my boy's brain out for further study." Being an ingenious little tuber, it acquired a degree in psychology at a Junior college. All of it's blue collared friends were impressed, and danced the "jig of many inkwells." But the hypothetical potato could not stop there; consumed by a lust for powder, it cleverly found its way into a Presidential Candidate's mind.
"At last! I am human!" the hypothetical potato wallowed in the tear wrinkling from it's host's eye-sockets. The hypothetical potato then set about implanting all oppressed potatoes into the human heads of certain important human celebrities and their leaders. The plan would have worked, had the hypothetical potato not fallen maddeningly in love with a lovely-lady-bee-keeper, who turned out to be an escaped mental patient (of course), well-known for sabotaging hundreds of thousands of sweet potato farms. Upon this realization of her past, he slew her in a fit of rage. Then somewhere under a highway overpass, he mistook his own life in a fit of despair, or was it rage? Anyway, he whipped himself to death with an egg-beater.
the end
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